Be The One In The Room Having The Most Fun
The Problem:
Hmmm what’s the problem here? I guess this type of thing is only a problem if you see it as one.
Everyone knows a “Debbie-downer” that somehow seems to suck the life right out of the party everytime they walk into the room. Everyone also knows the person that just radiates positivity and breathes life into everyone in the room.
We all know vibes are real, and that everyone is different. Mood, setting, being alone with someone, or in a room full of people… all these things make a difference in our experience and how we look to other people.
It's also one thing to feel a one way, and at the same time portray your mood in a totally different way. You ever heard of “Resting Bitch Face?”
So, where do you fit in that spectrum?
Are you the debbie downer, or the life of the party?
Do you look like you feel?
The Solution:
If your goal is to bring everyone else down with you or come off as disingenuous, don’t worry, no need to change anything about yourself.
If you want to actually be happy and be known as someone who is positive and uplifting, keep reading.
Part of being happy is tricking your brain into being happy. Have you ever heard of laughter yoga? Well it's where you make yourself laugh and it actually releases dopamine and can make you happier. Your brain literally doesn’t know the difference.
So whats that mean in a social setting?
Tell yourself you are going to happy and that you are going to have fun no matter what, and most likely, it will happen.
Oversimplified I know but it's just the start.
This little bump in mood and intention will allow you to see things in a different light. From there, it's still a challenge to radiate positivity to the room.
Next, find something you enjoy doing and DO IT. Like to talk to people, start a conversation with a random person. The intro is the hardest part, trust me. Like to dance, move to the music. Like to clean, start cleaning up after dinner or a toast at a party.
Whatever it is, have fun with it!!!!!
If you are having trouble with this here's a tip:
Close your eyes and imagine yourself feeling happiness and ecstasy. Then imagine how that would look from the outside. I do this to help me dance! I'M NOT A GOOD DANCER, and a little timid. But in the right mindset, and after a beer or two, you can find me laying it all on the line on the dance floor. I love “feeling myself” this way. And my goal when I do this, is to look like I am having more fun than anyone else….because I actually am!!!!
After you found something you like to do, find someone that needs the kind of bump in mood you just tricked yourself into.
This person can either be the token “debbie downer”, “shy guy,” or “the life of the party” that just needs some encouragement.
Get them out of their shell a little bit. Again, JUST FUCKING GO UP AND TALK TO THEM!
Their biology will tell them they will need to mirror your mood in order to survive the night.
Get them to “feel themselves.” Whether in conversation, activity, dancing, or introducing them to one of your friends, lift them up, just a little bit. It will make all the difference.
It doesn’t have to be an overdramatized extroverted effort! It can be calm, casual; only uncovered by a genuine smile.
This may look different to some of you and that’s okay! DO IT YOUR WAY!
But, now you actually are having fun!
You have reached your goal of being the one in the room that’s having the most fun! And you even helped someone join your level of stokedness.
You can apply this to nearly every moment of your life. At the gym, in a meeting, at a party, on vacation…. Always make it a goal, and it will pay dividends in the form of legitimate happiness.
You will soon be known for this. Instead of just a body in a room, you can be the one thing in the room that's making everyone else feel better. This sticks in the minds of everyone, trust me.
Why It's Important:
Do you ever want people to be on the fence when they are thinking about inviting you to something?
Do you want to make sure everything you do is worth doing?
Do you want to increase your positive interactions and your overall happiness?
GOOOOD!!! Then DO IT!!!
Make it a goal to be the one in the room having the most fun. This will pay you back tenfold!
You will notice that you can now have fun and be happy everywhere you go! The most boring, taxing, and costly events will all be worth it because you knew you got everything you could out of them!
People will notice your positivity and pay you back with it. People will smile more at you, will treat you better, will be more honest, and generous to you. You will be invited to more things. The value you bring in your positivity will be the icing on the cake to any other function you perform in the group.
In closing here are a few things that can help!
- Decide you are going to be happy and have fun no matter what.
- Be curious, be creative
- Just fucking say hi
- Find your groove, things that are sure to boost your mood (ie. bring your favorite beer, invite your fun friend…)
- Impact other people positively, even the “debbie downers”
Love y’all!
Hope this helps you be happy, healthy, wealthy, and productive!:)